Welcome to my inner thoughts over the last 3+ months... The artist sometimes known as "Cognitive Dissonance."
When does a groove become a routine? And when does a routine become a rut?... #AskingForAFriend.
As I've said in the last few posts, things are pretty "routine." And don't get me wrong, I don't miss having to log all those daily miles back and forth to the Duke Blood Cancer Center in Durham, NC. And certainly, don't miss the hours of IV hookups. #StillLoveYouJoJo
And at the same time, I'm from Boston. Which means I have no patience; everything is go-Go-GO. You've heard of the "New York Minute?" Well, I live by the "Boston Nano-second." I don't stand on a walkway... I briskly walk on a walkway. Why? Cause I get there faster. If I had a nickel for every time I was behind someone aimlessly sauntering and thought to myself... "for the love of all that is holy... walk with a purpose!" well, I could have easily paid cash for the bone marrow transplant. #DontAsk.
But Mike, "Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it!" Yeah, yeah. I know what Ferris Beuller said, but he's from Chicago and was a Cubs fan. So, he wasn't perfect.
Sorry for the tangent, but it illustrates the point. Here I am in my new groove, routine, rut. Aptly simplified to "GRR." One trip to the hospital a month, with a round of labs, a shot, and an IV. Then, twenty-one days of oral chemo at home and seven days off. Rinse, repeat. My calendar has become my pill case. It's full on Monday and empty on Sunday. Then, refill and repeat. Seems kind of pathetic, so sometimes, it'll intentionally end and fill on a Saturday to spice it up. Crazy, right? #LivingOnTheEdge
I'm also aware that one of the side effects of the meds is fatigue. A full day of work leaves me more tired than a year ago. So, I'm still figuring out what "Bore-tired" and "meds fatigue" are. Things slow down; they become predictable, and after enough predictable recurrence... it becomes mundane. And that impacts energy levels. And you can find yourself in a negative tailspin. And maybe that's when it becomes a rut...
Aside from writing? Well, I'm trying to get more walks in. I look forward to the spring when more of them can be outdoors. I plan to go to the movies more. I caught Oppenheimer on the last day it was in theatres. I'm so glad I saw it on the big screen.
And once I am free to fly again (in March), I'm planning a weekend trip to NYC to catch a couple of shows. There's more #Sondheim playing now than at any time I can remember. And with @sfosternyc (Sutton Foster) starring as Mrs. Lovett in Sweeney Todd for a twelve-week engagement, I gotta do it.
And, of course, I'll keep writing. And as the medical updates are available, I'll share them. With the next major milestone being a bone marrow biopsy (April timeframe), I suspect more might take the shape of "My inside voice on the outside." #YouveBeenWarned
Well, if pushed to choose, I wouldn't. :) Right now, I'd say I have one leg firmly entrenched in "routine," and I'm actively pulling the other out of the "quicksand of rut." That almost sounds like an excellent book title… almost. The good news, I think I have a plan. And I feel like if I just continue to push forward, I can get back to the groove.
I'll wrap this up with a quick medical re-cap. Recent arm X-rays show solid bone restoration at the site of the surgery. Yay! I've got some stiffness and limited range of motion in my shoulder, so I'm getting some physical therapy to address the stiffness and aches. A PET CT taken on Friday, February 9th, shows a stable result, with no new instances of lesions and organs all looking good! At my most recent oncology visit (Feb 6th), Dr. R. was pleased with cell counts, remarking, "They look great." 👍🏻
The slow and steady medical progress continues...
Onward, ho!
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